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Hashish and Steak Sauce

A guy from MP school and Airborne training, got transferred to Germany from Ft. Benning.  He wrote me a letter at some point describing his new duty station.  It was not much different from a military perspective but while I was basking in the sunshine and the swaying palms on Oahu, he was October-festing with Bratwurst at the Hofbrau.


One of the benefits of being stationed in Germany was the relative abundance of Turkish hashish, or hash.  He said he could get me some really cheap, so I responded in the affirmative, as they like to say in the military.  I sent him a hundred bucks and soon he responded with shipment.


Now remember that I live among the Military Police and so did he.  Within 2 weeks I had a small package delivered to me from Germany.  I picked it up in the mail room and waited for about a day before I opened it just in case it had been flagged.  Inside the package was a bottle of Lea & Perrins Worcestershire Sauce.

 

I thought "how nice"... and then realized that my hash was submerged in the bottle.  Dan had wrapped the hash inside a rubber...a condom and submerged it so that it could not be detected from the outside.  I knew that his University of Michigan business degree would be his ticket to stardom. Brilliant!


But there was now a dilemma. How do I retrieve it? The neck of the bottle was too narrow to pull through 12 grams of hash.  What do you grab onto it with?  After a couple of hours of contemplating how I was going to eventually get to try this stuff I settled on a simple plan.  I needed a tool with a long handle that could grab onto the rubber package.  The answer was forceps, and a buddy just happened to have a pair that he used as a roach clip. We put our heads together and figured out how to grab onto the rubber and drag it up through the neck of the bottle. It was a tedious process with several failures. Eventually our efforts paid off but in the process the rubber ruptured. In retrospect, maybe there was a better way. 

 

I used to love Worcestershire Sauce on my steak. But after smoking 12 grams of Turkish hashish that tasted like steak sauce and having to explain the taste to others... well, it has never been quite the same.

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